Saturday, March 23, 2013

December 29, 2012

   I am feeling so emotional and confused right now. First of all, I am out of my Prozac and don’t have the money to get more right now. I don’t have the money for anything because hours are short at work because of the holidays. I didn’t even get to get my children anything for Christmas. At least the girls got something from their dad and their grandparents. Taurus got something from his girlfriend and his step-mom. Diamond did not get anything at all and I am feeling extreme guilt and shame. How is this any better than when I was using?
     Beautiful Bobby died early this morning and he will be missed by many. He touched the lives of so many people and helped many addicts get and stay clean. I will miss him.
     I am also trying to find myself through submission. Am I trying to find myself or is this another way to put responsibility for my life on someone else? How do I know when I have found the right person? Today I feel used and taken advantage of. I am feeling overly sensitive and emotional.

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